Just one look One thought One healing One person One life Makes it all Worth feeling
In case any of you wonderfully, wisely child-less folks have ever wondered... What it's like to have kids: Take your alarm clock. Set it to go off every 5 minutes. Set it to the music you hate the most. Then the volume all the way up. Now disable the snooze. Now jump out the window.
So my son came running into our bedroom a few nights ago at 3am saying he had a bad dream. He climbed into bed next to me so he could cry at top volume directly on my ear. When he finally calmed down, I asked sweetly, "What was your dream about?" He started to respond, … Continue reading Bad Dreams
Every once in a while I'm reminded that At some point I'm going to have to Come to grips With the fact That I'm a horrible parent My kids will be fucked up They will both need therapy And they will hate me someday Because I can't stop Sucking At parenting And ruining my … Continue reading Horrible Parent
My dad: "I'm getting ready for your visit; what do the kids like to eat?" Me: "Anything that doesn't happen to be in the house when they're hungry."
Having kids is like injecting yourself with an 18 year strain of mono.
(1) Breathe (2) Repeat
Why do our kids have to be born with our genes? I could stand the flaws and faults of anyone else's little demons on a daily basis. I could love my kids unconditionally day-in and day-out of their shit didn't stink in exactly the same way as mine. I was late getting my daughter to … Continue reading We Should’ve Adopted
'Twas the night of the full moon, the second day and the fifth hour after all hollow's eve. And satan arose from the fiery grave, seeking vengeance on the two normally rather well-behaved children. He pulled them close and breathed the sinister smoke of darkness into their souls that they might wail, gnash their teeth, … Continue reading A Morning From Hell