Having Kids: A Horror Story

In case any of you wonderfully, wisely child-less folks have ever wondered... What it's like to have kids: Take your alarm clock. Set it to go off every 5 minutes. Set it to the music you hate the most. Then the volume all the way up. Now disable the snooze. Now jump out the window.

Advertisements

Kids…

My dad: "I'm getting ready for your visit; what do the kids like to eat?" Me: "Anything that doesn't happen to be in the house when they're hungry."

Writers Should Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever Have Kids

The dust kicked up from beneath her worn sandals, the grinding sound only growing louder as the heavy steel boots behind her closed in.  Stay focused. Straight ahead.  The darkness was closing in, the great shadow that threatened to eat her just out of reach.  Ahead, the cliff threatened. Behind, death.  She picked up speed, … Continue reading Writers Should Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever Have Kids