Embracing the Pain

I don’t know what it is about pain, but I find it to be incredibly inspiring. There is nothing I love to emote more in dance, music, or poetry, than deep human suffering.

Maybe that makes me a masochist. I don’t know. But I played around with a song by Julia Michaels this week (basically my new favorite writer & artist) that just took me straight back to the pain of high school heartbreak. I had a hell of a time exploring this incredible story – one we all know so well. in a pole dancing freestyle. From working out the costuming and makeup of a young girl, exhausted from lack of sleep, constantly in old, ripped and worn clothes she can’t bother to change out of, torn from too much crying, to cranking my body in the most twisty, intense movements I could muster.

Then I got some screenshots of some of the moments that really communicated the pain so well. So amazing what one can do with a little homemade costuming and amateur photography. I feel like I captured the feeling of the moment. Emotions I haven’t felt in years. What an amazing experience.

As I listen to music on my commute and in my office, I find myself aching to do the same with the painful songs I hear. There’s so much to feel, so much hardship to survive, so much disconnection and loss and grief and confusion and self-loathing…I want to capture it all. I want to live all the stories, dance them out, love them like so many do in this very moment.

Here are the photos. The video will be next once I finish editing. This is definitely something I want to do more often. I don’t get to perform enough so these opportunities to freestyle and really own the entire scene are so dear to me.

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