I’m running out of ways to keep my ego afloat. Any ideas for how I can get some attention? I need people to love me. And not a few people – I need ALL people to love me. 

Better yet, everyone worship me. It’s not hard, I’ve got enough awesomeness to go around. God knows, at the very least I’m better than you. 

Worship me, people, WORSHIP ME! Every eye that meets mine needs to conclude that I’m the shit. I won’t return the favor, of course, because what good would that do me. I’m the focus here. 

I think it’s high time I put my body on the black market. 


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