It’s not like I’ve been doing it terribly long, ya know? Well, I guess since Kindergarten…but I didn’t start really writing until high school and then I dove into poetry, short stories, and primarily songwriting. Then I went off to college to focus on songwriting which was such a passion once upon a time (it still comes back to visit every now and again), got practical, travelled a bit, and changed my major to marketing.
Then I just didn’t do much of that anymore. I took, like, a ten year break from creativity. That’s how it feels, anyways. I did the odd activity every now and then but between my desire to be a career woman, getting married, and popping out two kids, creativity got shelved for a while there. Who knows, maybe I needed it. Maybe I needed to prove to myself that I could be a career woman – or that it simply was a terrible place for me (it was).
So I’ve been back now for a couple of years and it’s been really great, though a bit of a roller coaster. I’ve tried so many different things it isn’t even funny. And it seems so often like nothing is working. I mean, I get it, no one should expect to be a Stephanie Meyer or E.L. James right out the door; so much luck plays into those overnight successes. But it seems like it’s just so damn hard to get eyeballs on my work – much less work people have to pay a whole dollar for!!
I thought I had it made because I’ve been working in marketing for 10 years. And maybe that did give me a head start over most beginners, but it turns out that marketing a book is either ridiculously hard or ridiculously expensive (probably both, dammit).
But despite the difficulties, the truth is, I’m just not a great writer yet. In fact, I’m really lucky that I’ve even stuck with it this long because I really hate not being good at stuff. Like, I usually just give up. But I like writing too much. I need it too much. The other day I was feeling shitty as all fuck, wrote a sarcastic blog post that wasn’t even three paragraphs, and then I felt let all tingly. I mean, come on, that’s way cheaper than a therapist!
The good news is, everyone is bad before they’re good. It’s a fact of life. So as long as I keep at it (and I will. For the first time in my life, I might actually stick with something), there is a glimmer of hope that down the road I might actually sell more than 10 copies of any book across any period of time.
Here’s to sucking!
(I know what you’re thinking, Chris, quit it)